0

Saturday

Offered Alex a mince pie the other day, looked in the cupboard and they had both been nicked! I think I know who the culprit is. Phillip thought that because she has a learning disability her parents had gone easy on her. As a Christian he thought that people needed to be taught that stealing is wrong. He was upset by the things she took. I’m less bothered by it. It’s saved me some calories. I think she’s just naughty and it’s not upbringing nor lack of understanding. Anyway Alex¬†shared with me his 30p Lidl chocolate bar and it was delicious. Couldn’t bite into it at first because he had put it in the fridge. Then my teeth snapped together when I really tried. Found a balance and enjoyed the choc.

Today I woke up late. Started my day with cinnamon cereal and banana. Decided to walk around the park before the light went. Listened to Underworld’s new album and took photos. Spotted a rainbow, photographed it and a passerby looked to see what I was looking at and noticed it too. Exchanged a few words which was nice.

Back at home sung on Smule with the man I was singing Buzzcocks with yesterday. Tried singing quietly last night too. I was pleased with our Tell Me Why by Neil Young, which oddly had a picture of a small dog in a pink wig. Not the first thing to spring to mind with that song.

Then I played some online Scrabble. Talked to Emily and told her I was playing Scrabble with my ex’s Mum. How many ex’s do you have? she asked. I said I didn’t know. Then she called me a bit of a tart and said she had lost count of the ones I had told her of. It’s starting to annoy me the way she manipulates her side of the conversation to make it sound like I’m talking about boys all the time. If she had been receptive she might have learnt something about my life. I fear I’m being characterised by an alien household.

Perhaps my diary will listen. I was with him for 3 years and often we played Scrabble with his mum irl. My mum played Scrabble online with her as a way of coping with me being mad. I feel like I’m connecting the circle by now playing her too.

I think I like to pretend to myself that Emily won’t value her little bit of fake drama more than getting to know me. It makes life seem less lonely and I’ll continue to talk to her as I wish. It’s offputting that she now has a family behind her or at least listening to her half of the conversation. They like me though. Really I admire her boldness at offending me when she would be really stuck if I stopped visiting her.

Anyway, enough of that. I had co op chilli for dinner which was comforting. Alex joined me but there was nothing on tele. I brought my PlayStation down and found Blackadder Goes Forth on Iplayer. Watched a couple of episodes. Susan laughed much more than me and I explained some bits for her causing more amusement. Drank a couple of glasses of red wine.

Susan and Alex went to bed after two episodes so I went up to my room.

I cheated in online Scrabble today against a random player and for the first time. I used an anagram solver to find the word equiseta scoring 84 points. It’s the plural of a plant that looks like a horses tail. I was interested in my attitude towards it. I wonder if my uncle cheats at Scrabble. He always wins against my Mum and it only makes her more determined to beat him. She takes so long thinking about each move. I just thought my letters, including a blank really looked like a word and I wanted to know what it was! Does that make me a bad person?

Anyway I learnt about a cool new plant.

Here’s my photos from the park –

That’s all folks.

0

Thursday

Crunchy nut cornflakes with soya milk for breakfast.

Went for my blood test in the morning, which was fine.

Back at home I got the Smule singing app and enjoyed singing some songs.

In the evening watched a bit of tele with Alex. A documentary about divers after giant limpet creatures in shark infested waters. Quite interesting. A man told a true story of his close encounter with a shark. Suggested we watch a film together, but he wanted to go to bed.

There’s a Smule widget for WordPress but I haven’t yet worked out how to use it. I’m ideakitten on Smule if you want to follow me there too.

Here’s a photo from the last day with Phillip. I like his frog air freshener. He was called frog at school on account of his unusual toes.

0

Wednesday

I’m writing on my IPhone today. Maybe that’s a good way to keep the blog going.

Woke up at 1pm to the fire alarm test. Support staff Karen commented that every time she visits I’m still in my nightie. Think she thinks I’m lazy. I’m not really, I just wake up late.

Anthea came round and I chatted to her in the kitchen. She says people are normally on antipsychotics for at least 2 years and that gives the best results. I’ve been wondering about a lower dose, but apparently there isn’t much range in the dose they give people these days anyway.

She left saying what a nice day it is outside and I decided that I would go out today.

Called the doctors to arrange blood test for tomorrow. Palpitations are possibly caused by my thyroid gland so need the test to check. For breakfast had some of the jalfrezi that Philip made, whilst waiting on the phone for the job centre. Will made a rare appearance to ask for Rizlas (fag papers as he calls them) and I got through to JCP at the same time. I’m not on PIP like I thought so perhaps I won’t be able to get a bus pass after all.

Went for a walk into town listening to Lily Alone. Went to the charity shops. I had a dream last night about swimming to an island and finding marshy land around the coast. There was a jigsaw puzzle and a hairdresser also in the dream though I can’t remember what the context was. Maybe I should write dreams down upon waking. Anyway I wondered about jigsaw puzzles but I don’t think I would be able to enjoy or complete it. Found an Angelina Ballerina children’s Uno for a pound and bought it in the hopes of getting Emily to play. She’s quick with numbers though she can’t read much. Or maybe I’ll use the mice illustrations as inspiration.

Went to the library and got a couple more joke books to share with Emily. I remember how the library used to feel to me, a universe of possibility. Now I read with less interest for shorter amounts of time, it has a different feel to it. But that’s okay. Got the bus back.

Had a little chat with Susan when I got in and had a mircowave pizza and a cider. After she left for her nighttime walk I decided to do something about the horrible, very bright bare lightbulb that’s been bugging me ever since I moved in. Took down the lampshade in my room – I can always use the small light. It was difficult to put on and it’s actually sort of balanced there but I’m quite pleased with the result. I find it very weird that no one else in the house seems bothered by it at all.

Had a bubble bath and listened to a Thriller instrumental. Set my alarm for tomorrow’s blood test.

Here’s some photos –

A sunset in the park from a couple of days ago.

Crane and knitted poppies from today.

And a drawing from yesterday.