A Dream

Dreamt I was with a man I was with a few years back. He had been working hard on a pencil drawing. It was a yin yang with an alien and a spider. He was proud of it and I encouraged him. Then a golden retriever arrived from my parents bedroom. I balanced a treat on the banister and the dog looked up to it. I can’t remember exactly how it happened, but I accidentally dropped the drawing and the dog ate it. My ex didn’t seem to react to the news and I wondered if I should start the drawing again for him.



I’m writing on my IPhone today. Maybe that’s a good way to keep the blog going.

Woke up at 1pm to the fire alarm test. Support staff Karen commented that every time she visits I’m still in my nightie. Think she thinks I’m lazy. I’m not really, I just wake up late.

Anthea came round and I chatted to her in the kitchen. She says people are normally on antipsychotics for at least 2 years and that gives the best results. I’ve been wondering about a lower dose, but apparently there isn’t much range in the dose they give people these days anyway.

She left saying what a nice day it is outside and I decided that I would go out today.

Called the doctors to arrange blood test for tomorrow. Palpitations are possibly caused by my thyroid gland so need the test to check. For breakfast had some of the jalfrezi that Philip made, whilst waiting on the phone for the job centre. Will made a rare appearance to ask for Rizlas (fag papers as he calls them) and I got through to JCP at the same time. I’m not on PIP like I thought so perhaps I won’t be able to get a bus pass after all.

Went for a walk into town listening to Lily Alone. Went to the charity shops. I had a dream last night about swimming to an island and finding marshy land around the coast. There was a jigsaw puzzle and a hairdresser also in the dream though I can’t remember what the context was. Maybe I should write dreams down upon waking. Anyway I wondered about jigsaw puzzles but I don’t think I would be able to enjoy or complete it. Found an Angelina Ballerina children’s Uno for a pound and bought it in the hopes of getting Emily to play. She’s quick with numbers though she can’t read much. Or maybe I’ll use the mice illustrations as inspiration.

Went to the library and got a couple more joke books to share with Emily. I remember how the library used to feel to me, a universe of possibility. Now I read with less interest for shorter amounts of time, it has a different feel to it. But that’s okay. Got the bus back.

Had a little chat with Susan when I got in and had a mircowave pizza and a cider. After she left for her nighttime walk I decided to do something about the horrible, very bright bare lightbulb that’s been bugging me ever since I moved in. Took down the lampshade in my room – I can always use the small light. It was difficult to put on and it’s actually sort of balanced there but I’m quite pleased with the result. I find it very weird that no one else in the house seems bothered by it at all.

Had a bubble bath and listened to a Thriller instrumental. Set my alarm for tomorrow’s blood test.

Here’s some photos –

A sunset in the park from a couple of days ago.

Crane and knitted poppies from today.

And a drawing from yesterday.



I really want to get this going as a writing blog again, but I’ve been unsure about getting started. Following advice, I’m just going to write something today, in the hopes that it gets the ball rolling.

Woke up late today and had some toast and apricot jam at my new old little table. Went out for a walk in the park and took some photos of trees and leaves etc. Some young boys on bikes noticed me and commented. Was I picking berries? Does the tree have a disease? Why is she photographing the bench? Let’s go and look at the bench to see why she was photographing it! Etc, etc. I’ve never had such an audience before.

Back at home I tried making a Youtube video. Discovered that I had actually been taking photos and short film clips, so thought I would use what I had. I was quite happy with what I came up with. Short, repeating, slowed down leaves moving, sort of hypnotic and cool. My laptop didn’t like what I came up with and refused to save the movie. Oh well. At least I have some new ideas for what I can make. It was all getting a bit messy anyway, so maybe it will be better to start afresh with the ideas strong at the beginning of the project.

To make myself feel better I made a little purple video for Gogol Bordello’s Start Wearing Purple. It was easy to make. I decided to make it blurry and think it looks better like that.


Quite an uneventful day. Made some pasta, and been listening to music. Realised it only takes 15 minutes to write a little blog entry like this. Hopefully I can use that to encourage myself to write something tomorrow.