Last night watched Desperate Housewives and some of an Orbital gig on the TV whilst Phillip watched a film on his Ipad. Still into DH and the Orbital gig was great. I feel like a true fan now because I know lots of songs from two albums! I listened to Wonky when I was writing my newspaper blog a few years ago.

At night I found ‘Change your life in 7 days’ hypnosis by Paul Mckenna on Youtube. I listened to it when I was a teenager and found it really worked. It was amazing to listen again. I remember it well. Listened to some Underworld afterwards.

I dreamt I was lost at school, looking after Julia’s baby Alfie as a newborn. When I woke up I thought I had been lucid dreaming. I felt that I was avoiding phoning Julia in my dream because I would wake up. I’m not sure that I’ve experienced it before. I think it’s because I listened to the hypnosis again after all this time. Interesting.

Listened to Irish Ballads as I got ready for my day. Marmite crumpets for breakfast a bit underdone because they were starting to burn on top. The rain stopped and we went out for a walk to Costa. It was cold and windy in a nice way. Ate a Mento. Took some photos. When we got to Costa we found they were shut early.


Phillip wanted to go to the other Costa, but a member of staff came out to tell us it was shut too just in case we were heading that way, which was kind of him. Decided to go to Mc Donalds. I had a large tea and Phillip had a mocha frappe. He talked about ages of getting served. He said 14 year olds can drink wine in restaurants if accompanied by an adult. I thought it was 16 but didn’t say so. I’ve just Googled it and I was right.

I’m glad the rain stopped and we got out for a walk. Filmed the Nissan flags flying in the wind. Here they are –

When we got in I showed Phillip my Amazon library of TV and Film. He chose to watch New Tricks! I watched two episodes and he watched three. Apart from once with my Dad and once with Emily, I’ve never watched it with anyone and it was really nice.

Emily called to say Ash is staying in hospital. She sounded really poorly with a sore throat last time I spoke to her. I hope she feels better soon.

The couple Emily is staying with don’t let her drink, but they are away at the moment. Emily decided to drink a small bottle of vodka with coke, collapsed in the garden and sprained her ankle. So shes been in hospital too. Poor Emily. She’s invited me over tomorrow. I haven’t promised but I’ll probably go round to see her.

Had some pasta and trifle for dinner. Phillip left this evening after finishing off the trifle.

Here’s my photos from our walk –




Had this song in my head today –



Watched The Golden Compass last night which was amazing. I don’t normally get into battles in films, but I thought the polar bear battle was brilliant. Shortly afterwards I heard voices for 5 minutes, which was okay. Settled down to go to sleep and I got pounding heart palpitations for a few seconds 4 times and a feeling of tightness in my neck. I researched it online. I had had 4 caffeinated drinks that day and I think that’s why it happened. Stayed awake until the early hours of the morning and my alarm woke me at 1pm.

Talked to Alex and gave him some lined paper so he could write his ‘Please may I keep my gerbils here’ letter. Checked through the pad first and glad I did so. I had written down ‘I’m going to suck your nan through a straw.’ when I was hearing voices a while back. Seemed worth writing down at the time. It goes in the bin.

We had a house meeting, and Alex said he wanted a shire horse. Maybe a good strategy to make them think gerbils are no big deal, but I reeally think we are simply not allowed them.  His psychologist has said they are good for him, and I’m sure she’s right. I think it’s unlikely he will get to keep them BUT he didn’t get a no today. They took the ‘handwritten and hand delivered’ note.

Karen dropped me off at Emily’s. I shared the joke book with her. She chose a category before I asked. She wanted sex jokes.

Well, sex on the television is not a bad thing. As long as you don’t fall off. That’s our favourite from today. Mostly she said they were shit and getting worse. I enjoyed reading the doctor, doctor jokes. My favourite type when I was a kid, and I remember lots of them. No, it’s not ‘Doctor, Doctor I feel like a pack of cards’ ‘I’ll shuffle you’. It isn’t, but perhaps it ought to be.

Watched Music Television. I quite like the music video for Ariana Grande’s God is a Woman, mixing her with religious imagery.

She gave me a bottle of beer and I gave her some Mix on the beach Mentos. I got a multipack from the pound shop the other day, didn’t realise it was an entirely new Mentos creation. 111905_Mentos-mix-on-the-beach.jpgShe gave them back because she only liked the strawberry ones. But not before giving one to deaf Molly the dog. I told her off and the dog ate it. She said ‘It’s chocolate.’. Urmm, we have both been eating Mentos. And actually chocolate is poisonous to dogs. Had to Google that but it’s true. I wonder if she knows and was just trying to throw me off the scent.

Back at home I cleaned the bath and listened to One Way Ticket To Hell And Back by The Darkness. Found it a bit annoyingly shrill, but still very listenable because it’s funny. It was a good rhythm to clean to. I have sensitive skin and often it’s irritated by the chemicals afterwards no matter how much I rinse the bath, but it needed to be done.

Then it was dark and I walked to the shop. I got a sweet and sour chicken dish for dinner, and a strawberry cheesecake for afterwards and a few other things. It was nice. Since then been writing this, and Phillip called halfway though.





Marmalade on toast for breakfast. Support staff Gemma came round in the morning. We decided to go out for a walk around the park so we could talk without the constant beeping of the door alarm. She wanted to talk about school trends because she is the same age as me. Yes, I did do the three layered scrunchies thing, a few years after everyone else, but I got there.

Spent just over an hour drawing in the morning and again felt better for it. Feels like I’m starting to settle into a routine of drawing a little bit each day.

Then as normal, I thought about making a Youtube video. After listening to Death Of An Interior Decorator by Death Cab For Cutie, I remembered that I was thinking about using images from the Terrible Estate Agent Photography thread on Urban75. I thought maybe the lyrics ‘Can you tell me why you have been so sad.’ would be interesting at least with it.

I collected up the photos, and it didn’t work so I tried different songs with them including Everything In It’s Right Place by Radiohead. I made it rainbowed but it still didn’t work. The problem was I really wanted something to create a nice tension with the offensive graffiti. Tried House Of Fun by Madness and it took to it. Yey! A lot of the photos have bright colours which looks cool with the rainbow filter. Here’s the video –

I watched through some videos I’ve made recently on the TV. Then I bought Trainspotting 2 which I’ve been wanting to watch since it came out over a year ago. I normally avoid buying new films, but I needed to watch it. I had already asked Philip if he wanted to see it, but he didn’t like the first one. My brother saw it and just said it made him feel old, which was a disappointing review from the person who showed me the first one. He watched it alone like me because it’s not Adleen’s ‘cup of tea’ and ‘she likes nice things.’

So anyway the months have rolled by and I hadn’t seen it yet. I loved it! I haven’t laughed like that in years. It was brilliant! I don’t know what took me so long, but then again I’m glad I didn’t watch it when I was delusional. It was the right time.






Toast and marmalade for breakfast today. Then I went to the shop to get baccy and got some raspberries too. Took photos on the walk again.

Today I’ve been making a video for We Were Giants by Stornoway and have dared to put it up on Youtube under that name. I really don’t want my account closed, but I also want people to be able to find it. It’s only the extremely popular songs I’ve uploaded that get blocked so I risked it.

It was fun to make. I once saw them live in London before they were very well known, with my ex Jon. He used to sing their songs beautifully and told me that the singer has a PhD in zoology, specializing in birds. I once took a careers test that told me I might make a good zoologist. Here’s the video.

There was a really pink sunset this evening and I went out to try to photograph it. Philip called to tell me medical details and said he would call back later once I found the bit of sky I wanted. Those photos didn’t come out very well though.

When Photoscaping my photos I found a heart on the underside of a leaf.


Some others from today –





Whilst making the video a search for ‘knitwear, models, couple, photography’ found me this cool photo.






I really want to get this going as a writing blog again, but I’ve been unsure about getting started. Following advice, I’m just going to write something today, in the hopes that it gets the ball rolling.

Woke up late today and had some toast and apricot jam at my new old little table. Went out for a walk in the park and took some photos of trees and leaves etc. Some young boys on bikes noticed me and commented. Was I picking berries? Does the tree have a disease? Why is she photographing the bench? Let’s go and look at the bench to see why she was photographing it! Etc, etc. I’ve never had such an audience before.

Back at home I tried making a Youtube video. Discovered that I had actually been taking photos and short film clips, so thought I would use what I had. I was quite happy with what I came up with. Short, repeating, slowed down leaves moving, sort of hypnotic and cool. My laptop didn’t like what I came up with and refused to save the movie. Oh well. At least I have some new ideas for what I can make. It was all getting a bit messy anyway, so maybe it will be better to start afresh with the ideas strong at the beginning of the project.

To make myself feel better I made a little purple video for Gogol Bordello’s Start Wearing Purple. It was easy to make. I decided to make it blurry and think it looks better like that.


Quite an uneventful day. Made some pasta, and been listening to music. Realised it only takes 15 minutes to write a little blog entry like this. Hopefully I can use that to encourage myself to write something tomorrow.


I Tried To Leave You by Leonard Cohen


I’ve written many songs of parting. Don’t wanna feel that I’m leaving you anywhere that I’m not going. Anyhow, this is a song of staying. It’s one of those delirious songs of monotony called marriage. This is a song written out of my old age, my middle-age, my wrinkles, my weakness, and my failures called ‘Je voulais te quitter’ *

– Leonard Cohen, Montreux, 1976

* ‘I wanted to leave you.’