Feels like I have lost momentum with my blog after missing a day yesterday. But here we go. Woke up and had toast and ham for breakfast and a cup of coffee. Weird dream last night. I was at Buckingham Palace and William and Kate were getting married. I was living at the palace and there was a trap door in my area which I thought lead to the dining room. There were no stairs, and I dangled out of the trap door, above William and Kate as they were getting married. I saw myself from the crowds perspective. A lot of the people there thought I had done it deliberately, but the Queen believed that I had done it accidentally. An American man spoke out of turn at the ceremony, and the Queen said under her breathe, ‘See what I have to put up with.’ Which was nice because it felt like she saw me as an equal and not a problem like the American man. It was nice living at the palace and I think I was allowed to stay their for as long as I liked.

Phillip arrived at around 2pm. We went to Sainsburys to do some food shopping, and then to Lidls for some beer and cider for me, and some toilet rolls which are cheaper there.

Ash suggested we watch Avatar with her and her boyfriend tomorrow. And so we decided to go and see the new Queen film Bohemian Rhapsody today rather than tomorrow. The film was fantastic. I was transfixed by it and couldn’t look away. The sound was incredible. I’ve heard about the story of Queen from Phillip but didn’t really get it. The film took the story very well and I think Freddie would have loved it.

I got Queens greatest hits CDs when I was at college and listened to it a lot, so it always reminds me of that time. I made a compilation CD for my boyfriend at the time and included ‘You’re my best friend’ on it.




Watched Desperate Housewives last night. Victor gets washed up on the beach, alive. Pretends not to remember but remembers all. I had a feeling I was wrong about him dying. Really enjoying the series the third time round.

Watched Phillip’s favourite gig Queen at Live Aid, which was transcendentally amazing and interwoven with Phillip’s commentary of Queen Facts. I’m interested in them, but I have a feeling that if I wasn’t I would still be receiving the same information. Like the motor racing facts today for instance. He was interested in the crowd and said ‘That’s power. In a good way.’

When we woke up I looked for a film that we hadn’t watched together yet, and that was funny because he prefers funny films. I chose Risky Business. I really enjoyed it and so did Phillip. It’s so nice to be able to watch films easily without feeling Restlessness.

Then as we are both Red Dwarf fans, we watched some together for the first time, which was nice. Phillip is grossed out by Lister’s antics. I just remember having a schoolgirl crush on him and idealising him no matter what he did. I think Phillips response is more what the writer was going for. I used to imagine having curry for breakfast with him and having a wonderful time. I later learned that Craig Charles (Lister) is a poet and I felt ‘Ah, that explains it.’ Though I never normally think in such a simplistic way. I’ve never read his poems for some reason. Lister is a poet in disguise, though maybe being a poet is always a disguise in one way or another.

After laying in bed all day Phillip wanted a chip butty. So I used the oven today for the first time in a long time. Made a salad too and we watched some motor racing whilst we ate. I was thinking it was bad that he didn’t check that that was okay, and as the thought occurred to me he said ‘You don’t mind that we are watching this, do you?’. So I said it was okay. The boredom of it let my mind wander and I didn’t mind at all really. Just wanted him to acknowledge that it wasn’t my thing and he did. Watched a little more Red Dwarf and then it was time for him to go home.

I didn’t take any photos today so here is a photo of my curtains –


When I was delusional I thought they had been designed especially for me. In the curtains I saw many things including the book cover of The Beach by Alex Garland.


I saw many things including the slats of a bunk bed I had as a child, chips, and film tape. I had the idea that it meant ‘cutting the film’ somewhere in the novel so that the novel’s tragic ending wouldn’t be reached. I felt it represented war. In details I saw a lion and a snake. When I started hallucinating I saw many things as if projected onto the curtains and the waves I saw appeared to be moving.

I felt that even if the world was really heading toward an awful future, a small island might be preserved where people could live a better life and be creative. I felt that good people in power had diminishing hope, but didn’t want me to be the same way. They wanted me to imagine a society on an island, and my belief in that place would be linked to Alex Garland’s novel. It was a distant and dreamlike delusion.

A few times I have thought it would be nice to have different curtains now. It’s not important to me though.





Last night watched Desperate Housewives and some of an Orbital gig on the TV whilst Phillip watched a film on his Ipad. Still into DH and the Orbital gig was great. I feel like a true fan now because I know lots of songs from two albums! I listened to Wonky when I was writing my newspaper blog a few years ago.

At night I found ‘Change your life in 7 days’ hypnosis by Paul Mckenna on Youtube. I listened to it when I was a teenager and found it really worked. It was amazing to listen again. I remember it well. Listened to some Underworld afterwards.

I dreamt I was lost at school, looking after Julia’s baby Alfie as a newborn. When I woke up I thought I had been lucid dreaming. I felt that I was avoiding phoning Julia in my dream because I would wake up. I’m not sure that I’ve experienced it before. I think it’s because I listened to the hypnosis again after all this time. Interesting.

Listened to Irish Ballads as I got ready for my day. Marmite crumpets for breakfast a bit underdone because they were starting to burn on top. The rain stopped and we went out for a walk to Costa. It was cold and windy in a nice way. Ate a Mento. Took some photos. When we got to Costa we found they were shut early.


Phillip wanted to go to the other Costa, but a member of staff came out to tell us it was shut too just in case we were heading that way, which was kind of him. Decided to go to Mc Donalds. I had a large tea and Phillip had a mocha frappe. He talked about ages of getting served. He said 14 year olds can drink wine in restaurants if accompanied by an adult. I thought it was 16 but didn’t say so. I’ve just Googled it and I was right.

I’m glad the rain stopped and we got out for a walk. Filmed the Nissan flags flying in the wind. Here they are –

When we got in I showed Phillip my Amazon library of TV and Film. He chose to watch New Tricks! I watched two episodes and he watched three. Apart from once with my Dad and once with Emily, I’ve never watched it with anyone and it was really nice.

Emily called to say Ash is staying in hospital. She sounded really poorly with a sore throat last time I spoke to her. I hope she feels better soon.

The couple Emily is staying with don’t let her drink, but they are away at the moment. Emily decided to drink a small bottle of vodka with coke, collapsed in the garden and sprained her ankle. So shes been in hospital too. Poor Emily. She’s invited me over tomorrow. I haven’t promised but I’ll probably go round to see her.

Had some pasta and trifle for dinner. Phillip left this evening after finishing off the trifle.

Here’s my photos from our walk –




Had this song in my head today –



Woke up, checked my phone and fell back asleep. In my dream I was living next to a charity shop. The door was open and things in my room kept breaking. There were two porcelain dolls sat together in the corner. One had it’s mouth open and a slightly glittery fabric, dark blue tongue. Then I woke up.

Got ready for my day listening to David Bowie. I always wonder about ‘Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow.’ I think the way he sings ‘Mickey Mouse’ reminds me of the Bonzos and I never know if I like the line or not.

Needed to stretch my legs so I walked round the park a couple of times. Listening to Lion Boy and then chatting to Emily. She wanted me to call Karen for her because she had run out of credit. Got though eventually and relayed the message. Went to the pub and read my joke book.

I wouldn’t say he was a reckless pilot but he never checked the railway timetables before he flew through tunnels.

A streaker runs through a golf club with a towel over his face and passes three female members. ‘Well, that’s not my husband.’ says the first. ‘No, it isn’t.’ says the second woman. ‘He’s not even a member of the club.’ says the third woman.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing shorts and Y-fronts made entirely of cling film. The psychiatrist says ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts’

Shared the last one with Emily and she found it really funny. She requested mental health jokes today. I thought maybe we wouldn’t like them, but they were okay. I’m surprised that Marks & Spencers would want it’s name on a book with so many dodgy jokes though. The pub became busy which was a puzzlement to me until I remembered it’s Friday. People must spend a small fortune in there if they eat and have a few drinks. Went to the shop got an Appletiser and curry for Phillip and a few things for myself.


Phillip arrived at 4ish after being delayed. He’s got me some roses in a pot, forgot to bring them, but showed me a photo of them that his Mum took. It’s my second pot plant from him, and the first is still going. I realise I’m not counting the basil. I didn’t look after the basil in the kitchen very well and had to throw it away.

He showed me photos of his family and a young Eden Project on his Ipad. His nieces grew up and so did The Eden Project. We ate our meals in the sitting room. My first time sitting in there again since the door alarm stopped bleeping. Hurray! Phillip wanted to watch a documentary about aeroplane crashes. It was time to write my blog. I’ve been listening to Angel radio, and Phillip has continued watching the programme on his Ipad here.




Started watched Desperate Housewives Season Four (2008) last night. I was able to concentrate on it well and I enjoyed it. When I first watched the programme my favourite character had to be Susan Mayer (Teri Hatcher), better known to me as Superman’s girlfriend! I was always half expecting some supernatural magic to occur simply because she was onscreen. I wasn’t disappointed that it didn’t because by then I was into the programme for itself.

Emily called at 11.30am waking me up. She wanted me to rush over, and I said I would come over but not rush. Took my joke book, watercolours and colouring in book. At the table in the garden we noticed a mysterious object.


I said ‘ped’ means foot but Emily said she already knew it was for feet from the picture on it. We wondered for a while. Emily wanted to borrow it thinking it was for massage and I thought it was a pomice stone. She reached across the table, grabbed it and opened it up. Inside was a grater and skin flakes. In horror she clumsily shut it and pushed it far away. After we had recovered I said ‘Do you want a foot cheese and pickle sandwich?’. She slapped me on the leg and said that she would never be able to eat cheese and pickle sandwiches again. We finished our rollies and went indoors.

I did some watercolour colouring in, and we chatted and listened to music on the TV. We had a couple of Rustlers BBQ rib subs which were nice. Emily said she wanted to have a bath whilst everyone was still out, and asked me to go. She doesn’t like coming out of the bath when there are people in the house. Over my visits to Emily I’ve done quite a few pages of the colouring in book Mum gave me. Some I did at home, but mostly at Emily’s. Here they are –


Today I mixed up more subtle colours and made watercolour peach. I had fun, and Emily liked watching me paint.

I told Emily about my dream. Lots of piglets packed into individual metal boxes. Then it turned out the boxes were metallic card. I kept a piglet. There was a competition which my piglet was good at, and the organisers were trying stop him entering. I wouldn’t let them, and kept my piglet safe from them. She said it sounded more like a nightmare. But it wasn’t. Just a weird dream. Heavily based on Babe but it was more like an average farm, not picturesque.

Back at home I knocked on Alex’s door but he wasn’t in. Did some painting. Walked to the shop to get some beer. There was a beautiful sky and the wet road was smudged with the colours from the lights. The checkout girl suspected the last customer of shoplifting something. Got some reduced doughnuts remembering how nice it was when Ben knocked on my door to offer me a doughnut.

Had sausages and mash for dinner, then looked forlornly in the fridge for a minute. Someone has eaten my other little strawberry cheesecake.

The sky sort of looked like this –


And the road closely resembled this –


Here’s the painting I did today –


Phillip was on the phone for an hour this evening. Halfway through decided to doodle as we chatted. He mostly talked about the cleaning and other peoples commutes. Here are my stars –



A Dream

Here’s a dream I recorded last winter –

‘I dreamt I was at a beach resort for unwell people. A little boy was there with his dad. He talked about a swear word and I told him some other ones but not what they mean. He wanted to bury feet in the sand, but I went into the sea when I thought I still had his hand. I was holding a skeleton hand, finger curled to say come this way. I decided to throw it somewhere no one would find it.

I found a space between two walls, not big enough for me. The boy had been collecting his dad’s tools. He was in the gap. I began to ask if he saw the skeleton hand but I thought it was too scary for him. I told him about a heartbeat machine instead and this seemed to worry him. I tried to make my lie reassuring but I didn’t know if he had seen the hand or not. A homeless woman made friends with me and told people about a place offering free cakes. She had crazy clothes.’