Walked to Emily’s. Grandchildren were there. Emily and I were quite quiet. She’s in pain from her op. Walked back listening to modern pop again.

Sung on Smule which was fun. Chilli for dinner and a single healthy glass of red wine.

Tried reading some of the Red Dwarf book Matt lent me. Read for 30 minutes which I’m pleased about. I’ve been finding it difficult to settle into a book, but hopefully with practise I’ll get better.

Mum asked me what I want for Christmas and as I don’t know she’s going to send me some money. So then I can buy something I want with it. I’ll have to have a think about it.



Offered Alex a mince pie the other day, looked in the cupboard and they had both been nicked! I think I know who the culprit is. Phillip thought that because she has a learning disability her parents had gone easy on her. As a Christian he thought that people needed to be taught that stealing is wrong. He was upset by the things she took. I’m less bothered by it. It’s saved me some calories. I think she’s just naughty and it’s not upbringing nor lack of understanding. Anyway Alex¬†shared with me his 30p Lidl chocolate bar and it was delicious. Couldn’t bite into it at first because he had put it in the fridge. Then my teeth snapped together when I really tried. Found a balance and enjoyed the choc.

Today I woke up late. Started my day with cinnamon cereal and banana. Decided to walk around the park before the light went. Listened to Underworld’s new album and took photos. Spotted a rainbow, photographed it and a passerby looked to see what I was looking at and noticed it too. Exchanged a few words which was nice.

Back at home sung on Smule with the man I was singing Buzzcocks with yesterday. Tried singing quietly last night too. I was pleased with our Tell Me Why by Neil Young, which oddly had a picture of a small dog in a pink wig. Not the first thing to spring to mind with that song.

Then I played some online Scrabble. Talked to Emily and told her I was playing Scrabble with my ex’s Mum. How many ex’s do you have? she asked. I said I didn’t know. Then she called me a bit of a tart and said she had lost count of the ones I had told her of. It’s starting to annoy me the way she manipulates her side of the conversation to make it sound like I’m talking about boys all the time. If she had been receptive she might have learnt something about my life. I fear I’m being characterised by an alien household.

Perhaps my diary will listen. I was with him for 3 years and often we played Scrabble with his mum irl. My mum played Scrabble online with her as a way of coping with me being mad. I feel like I’m connecting the circle by now playing her too.

I think I like to pretend to myself that Emily won’t value her little bit of fake drama more than getting to know me. It makes life seem less lonely and I’ll continue to talk to her as I wish. It’s offputting that she now has a family behind her or at least listening to her half of the conversation. They like me though. Really I admire her boldness at offending me when she would be really stuck if I stopped visiting her.

Anyway, enough of that. I had co op chilli for dinner which was comforting. Alex joined me but there was nothing on tele. I brought my PlayStation down and found Blackadder Goes Forth on Iplayer. Watched a couple of episodes. Susan laughed much more than me and I explained some bits for her causing more amusement. Drank a couple of glasses of red wine.

Susan and Alex went to bed after two episodes so I went up to my room.

I cheated in online Scrabble today against a random player and for the first time. I used an anagram solver to find the word equiseta scoring 84 points. It’s the plural of a plant that looks like a horses tail. I was interested in my attitude towards it. I wonder if my uncle cheats at Scrabble. He always wins against my Mum and it only makes her more determined to beat him. She takes so long thinking about each move. I just thought my letters, including a blank really looked like a word and I wanted to know what it was! Does that make me a bad person?

Anyway I learnt about a cool new plant.

Here’s my photos from the park –

That’s all folks.



Family Guy in the evening with Alex as is becoming our routine.

Long chat with my mum on FB chat. Shared some things I made a couple of summers ago –

Earlier listened to Radio 6 about Pete Shelley who recently passed away. I loved hearing songs I hadn’t heard before as well as the ones I knew. Twisted some letters out of a piece of white wire and made this –

Poor Emily has a womb infection and doesn’t want me to visit at the moment.

Been sat warming my feet by my electric heater. We all got given one because the boiler is broken. It’s nice they want us to be warm. I was okay with it being a bit chillier in the house, but I’m really enjoying the heater. I like to pretend it’s a log fire.

Sung Buzzcocks songs on Smule and got nice feedback.

Saw Stuart again on Wednesday and had a really nice time, including watching all of Blackadder the Third in bed!