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Thursday

Woke up around midday. Phillip was working on the church profile. Had toast and marmite for breakfast and a cup of tea. We were a little late getting to Emily’s and Phillip got a strawberry frappe from Costa.

Emily had had her hair plaited for her in a french braid, and was wearing a new white jumper with silver butterflies sparkling on it. Not her usual look and it suited her. We sat out in the garden with her. She wanted to try the drink so I got a little mug and a spoon as they didn’t have straws. She really liked it and asked Phillip to bring her one next time we visit. Phillip chatted to Anne about dogs being pack animals, smoking and the time his Mum visited him in hospital and fell down the stairs.

When she went in I got my joke book out and Phillip read from it, selecting the insults category by flipping at random through the book. When Gary was introduced he introduced Emily as a c*** which is the sort of thing they always do. Phillip said ‘I know that.’ Gary seemed to like it that Phillip was reading insult jokes because he tried telling his own jokes a few times in passing. Next Phillip chose battle of the sexes jokes and blonde jokes. He found them really funny when he was reading them, and Emily really enjoyed it too. I had a beer and Emily had the pear cider I brought her. I got it wrong, she is allowed to drink there. They just didn’t like it when she bought a lot, so she gave them to me that time. On her painkillers she could have one beer and they made sure it was only one. We left when it got chilly. I had a nice time.

Went for a walk in the park and took some photos. Phillip wanted to cook gammon, egg and chips so we stopped off at the shop. Watched a bit of Big Bang Theory until the kitchen was free. I played Bob Dylan songs whilst Phillip cooked. My favourite is Shelter From The Storm.

The food was nice. Washed up listening to The Doors. Phillip is looking forward to new Big Bang Theory tonight.

Here are my photos from the walk –

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Wednesday

Watched an Oasis gig last night. I enjoyed it. I think most musicians don’t like Oasis and I find that interesting. I’ve heard their music described as ‘beery ballards’ and I don’t think that’s fair. It was good to be reminded of songs I used to listen to.

Woke up at 10.30am. Phillip called just after my alarm and was already here. I chose my widest shoes for Emily’s swollen foot and we went over to hers. Phillip stayed in the car and we went into the health centre. I read joke’s from the Tony Robinson history joke book. Emily tried reading some of it out loud, breaking down the words. Why couldn’t the pirate play cards? Because he was sat on the deck. What do cats eat for breakfast? Museli or Mice Krispies. It kept us amused in the waiting room. I went in with her for her blood test because she said she was scared. She looked at me in an intense way as the needle went in. It reminded me a bit of her severe asthma attack expression because she stared. I thought she would look right away from it, not at me. I think it helped that I was there. The nurse thought I was her support worker, though perhaps she was joking. She had her jab shortly afterwards then we were back in the car. She invited me and Phillip over for a cuppa but Phillip was tired and wanted to get back.

After we dropped her off he said that he likes being around dogs that he knows are well trained, but not if they aren’t. He is worried about strange dogs biting him or jumping up. I assured him that Molly posed no threat, doesn’t jump up. Molly hobbles around. I don’t think she could jump up if she tried. I said that and then realised that’s not very reassuring, the point is she’s a gentle dog. This evening he agreed to go over there tomorrow so I think it was more that he was tired.

We both fell asleep when we got in. When we woke up we went for a walk around the park. Took photos and filmed squirrels. Phillip became a squirrel spotter and knew to approach them quietly. Here’s my video –

He told me that yew trees are the oldest in Britain, saying that it’s because they grow in church yards. I’m not so sure about the second bit. A tree that can grow really old, will sometimes grow really old anywhere. The few protected in churchyards ought not to determine the fact. I suspect it’s Christian Chinese whispers.

Drew for half an hour when I got in. I thought Phillip would detect my scented pens but he did not. Then we went to the new Lidel, and then Sainsbury’s to get all the ingredients for a Hairy Dieters jalfrezi. In Lidel Phillip accidentally smashed a cumin spice. Glass and spice scattered everywhere. He says he is stupid and useless a lot but didn’t say it on this occasion.

Phillip has made the curry with his Mum a few times, and they put portions in freezer bags. I liked it that his mum had put colour coded tabs throughout the book. I sat in the kitchen whilst he cooked, and then we watched a bit of Grand Designs. The curry was nice. I finished my beer and then I went up to write this.

I’m looking forward to seeing Emily tomorrow. Gary likes intimidating people a bit, and I hope he doesn’t make Phillip uncomfortable.

Here are my photos from today –

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And my drawing from this evening –

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Tuesday

Listened to Jacqueline Rolston’s Maelstrom as I got ready for my day. Went for a walk into town taking the short cut through the industrial estate that Phillip found. Walking through the park I found lots of mushrooms all in one place.

Listened to Lion Boy, then went to the library and returned it. I didn’t finish the story, just felt like listening to something new. I found a Jacqueline Wilson Playaway called Lily Alone and Tony Robinson’s history Joke Book. Went to Wilko and got a grey velvet notebook. Then went to Asda to get milk and got some scented gel pens too. Didn’t stop for coffee and I walked back.

At home I had a burger and a cup of tea and did some drawing listening to Radio 6. The pens smell good.

I have to be up at 10.30am tomorrow. Phillip has kindly agreed to take Emily to the health centre for a blood test and her jab. She had been worried about how she would get there with no money and a sprained ankle and is really grateful that Phillip is helping her.

Here’s my photos from the walk –

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And my drawings from this evening –

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Monday

Woke up to a fire alarm test at 1pm. Sleepy but remembered I said I might visit Emily. Gave her a call to see if she wanted me to bring a film and some CDs. She said the dog barks and whines when she goes to her room, so not to bring any. Took my joke book, watercolours, Rustlers burger and Mentos.

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Had a nice time with Emily. We stayed out in the garden most of the time. Her ankle looks very swollen, but she says the swelling has gone down since yesterday. She has bad period pain and pain from her ankle, but was fairly chirpy with it and glad to see me. I made her bed for her which she appreciated. Read my joke book in the garden. Emily chose twin jokes. Well, I used to be a twin. My mother has a photo of me when I was two. Emily and I found that one really funny, but maybe because of our mental health problems. Katie and later Philip didn’t find it very funny at all. In a way that’s nice because it’s a joke I can just remind Emily of.

Emily chose chat up lines and Katie shared two she knew, the heaven one and the alphabet one. A new one from the book –

‘Why don’t we break away from all this and lodge with my fleas in the hills – I mean flee to my lodge in the hills.’ – Groucho Marx

Katie wondered if anyone actually used chat up lines and Emily said a boy really said the ‘Did it hurt? When you fell from heaven?’ to her and she had never heard it before. Aw.

When it got chilly we went indoors and I painted. She said that Katie (one of the daughters) lesbian friends is amazingly beautiful and I must stay until she arrives to see for myself. Katie found this kind of talk a bit awkward especially after Emily tried flirting with her, and said ‘All my friends are beautiful.’, which was an elegant solution.

Stopped off at the shop on the way back and got some ready meals, bread and a Lambrini.

Drew for a bit when I got in. I’m trying to remember how I felt using coloured fineliners whilst at uni, listening to the radio in my room, or drawing along with a book. A man is singing ‘Cold, Cold Heart’ on the radio. I’ve only heard Norah Jones’s version before. I love that song.

Had a sweet and sour chicken with rice and chatted to Alex who was off to his Mum’s for dinner. He said that unfortunately his Dad would be there too and that that ruins it a bit. He was writing down appointments in a diary which seemed old fashioned to me. Though at uni it was the norm, staff use appointment diaries all the time, and my parents believe in the power of Filofax. It’s just been a long time since I wrote down appointments in a diary.

Ash’s sore throat is glandular fever. She’s back from hospital and is staying at her boyfriend’s parents for a week whilst she recovers. She says it is contagious. Hope she feels better soon.

Chatted to Phillip for half an hour this evening. He is nearly done with his church writing but has given himself backache because he sat on his bed to type at his computer rather than the chair. When I asked why he said it was because he is stupid. Oh. Hope he feels better soon.

Here’s my watercolour colouring in –

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And a drawing from this evening –

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Sunday

Last night watched Desperate Housewives and some of an Orbital gig on the TV whilst Phillip watched a film on his Ipad. Still into DH and the Orbital gig was great. I feel like a true fan now because I know lots of songs from two albums! I listened to Wonky when I was writing my newspaper blog a few years ago.

At night I found ‘Change your life in 7 days’ hypnosis by Paul Mckenna on Youtube. I listened to it when I was a teenager and found it really worked. It was amazing to listen again. I remember it well. Listened to some Underworld afterwards.

I dreamt I was lost at school, looking after Julia’s baby Alfie as a newborn. When I woke up I thought I had been lucid dreaming. I felt that I was avoiding phoning Julia in my dream because I would wake up. I’m not sure that I’ve experienced it before. I think it’s because I listened to the hypnosis again after all this time. Interesting.

Listened to Irish Ballads as I got ready for my day. Marmite crumpets for breakfast a bit underdone because they were starting to burn on top. The rain stopped and we went out for a walk to Costa. It was cold and windy in a nice way. Ate a Mento. Took some photos. When we got to Costa we found they were shut early.

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Phillip wanted to go to the other Costa, but a member of staff came out to tell us it was shut too just in case we were heading that way, which was kind of him. Decided to go to Mc Donalds. I had a large tea and Phillip had a mocha frappe. He talked about ages of getting served. He said 14 year olds can drink wine in restaurants if accompanied by an adult. I thought it was 16 but didn’t say so. I’ve just Googled it and I was right.

I’m glad the rain stopped and we got out for a walk. Filmed the Nissan flags flying in the wind. Here they are –

When we got in I showed Phillip my Amazon library of TV and Film. He chose to watch New Tricks! I watched two episodes and he watched three. Apart from once with my Dad and once with Emily, I’ve never watched it with anyone and it was really nice.

Emily called to say Ash is staying in hospital. She sounded really poorly with a sore throat last time I spoke to her. I hope she feels better soon.

The couple Emily is staying with don’t let her drink, but they are away at the moment. Emily decided to drink a small bottle of vodka with coke, collapsed in the garden and sprained her ankle. So shes been in hospital too. Poor Emily. She’s invited me over tomorrow. I haven’t promised but I’ll probably go round to see her.

Had some pasta and trifle for dinner. Phillip left this evening after finishing off the trifle.

Here’s my photos from our walk –

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Had this song in my head today –

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Saturday

Watched another two episodes of Desperate Housewives last night. One on my phone whilst Phillip slept. I’ve seen them twice before and I’m getting more into the plot now. Really enjoying it, it’s a great series.

I’ve started playing Go on my phone, and wondered what my rating is now. I used to be quite good but haven’t played in a long time.

Had interesting dreams again and wanted to stay in them so slept longer. Phillip started to work on something he is writing for the church and I set out to the park. As I was leaving Alex was arriving back and said he does a lot of walking and will walk with me next time. Walked twice round, photographing the graffiti in the tennis court and made a first attempt at filming the squirrels. Here they are –

Phillip didn’t have everything he needed on his computer to write, and when I got back he had started defragmenting. I suggested we go downstairs and chat to Alex. Sat in the lounge. Phillip and Alex had Appletizer and I had a cup of tea. Alex talked a lot about everything he has been though. When Phillip mentioned the aeroplane documentary he watched last night, Alex thought that his life was like that. He said he kept examining the wreckage and tried to make the design better each time. I thought it was from the heart, and put his story into a different context. Phillip carried on talking about the planes, and I wondered about what Alex had said.

Alex told some jokes without knowing about my book.

■ What’s the difference between a blind hunter and a constipated owl?

One shoots but can’t hit while the other hoots but can’t shit.

He didn’t say the last word, and I was pleased with how quickly I got it. I can be very slow sometimes.

Later on Phillip choose sport jokes from the book.

■ A man and his wife are at a volleyball game when they notice a very affectionate couple who are running their hands over each other passionately. ‘I don’t know whether to watch them or the game.’ says the man. ‘Watch them!’ says his wife. ‘You already know how to play volleyball’.

He found it much funnier than me. I’m having fun with my joke book. We were going to go to the Indian restaurant but the queue was long, so we went to Sainsbury’s to get a curry. I already had one, but then found it had possibly been opened before or Phillip accidentally had opened it. Didn’t know so threw it away. I had bacon pasta with a samosa and some naan bread, whilst we watched Big Bang Theory. There’s a trifle for dessert but I’m full.

Here’s my photos from my walk –

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Friday

Woke up, checked my phone and fell back asleep. In my dream I was living next to a charity shop. The door was open and things in my room kept breaking. There were two porcelain dolls sat together in the corner. One had it’s mouth open and a slightly glittery fabric, dark blue tongue. Then I woke up.

Got ready for my day listening to David Bowie. I always wonder about ‘Mickey Mouse has grown up a cow.’ I think the way he sings ‘Mickey Mouse’ reminds me of the Bonzos and I never know if I like the line or not.

Needed to stretch my legs so I walked round the park a couple of times. Listening to Lion Boy and then chatting to Emily. She wanted me to call Karen for her because she had run out of credit. Got though eventually and relayed the message. Went to the pub and read my joke book.

I wouldn’t say he was a reckless pilot but he never checked the railway timetables before he flew through tunnels.

A streaker runs through a golf club with a towel over his face and passes three female members. ‘Well, that’s not my husband.’ says the first. ‘No, it isn’t.’ says the second woman. ‘He’s not even a member of the club.’ says the third woman.

A guy walks into a psychiatrist’s office wearing shorts and Y-fronts made entirely of cling film. The psychiatrist says ‘Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts’

Shared the last one with Emily and she found it really funny. She requested mental health jokes today. I thought maybe we wouldn’t like them, but they were okay. I’m surprised that Marks & Spencers would want it’s name on a book with so many dodgy jokes though. The pub became busy which was a puzzlement to me until I remembered it’s Friday. People must spend a small fortune in there if they eat and have a few drinks. Went to the shop got an Appletiser and curry for Phillip and a few things for myself.

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Phillip arrived at 4ish after being delayed. He’s got me some roses in a pot, forgot to bring them, but showed me a photo of them that his Mum took. It’s my second pot plant from him, and the first is still going. I realise I’m not counting the basil. I didn’t look after the basil in the kitchen very well and had to throw it away.

He showed me photos of his family and a young Eden Project on his Ipad. His nieces grew up and so did The Eden Project. We ate our meals in the sitting room. My first time sitting in there again since the door alarm stopped bleeping. Hurray! Phillip wanted to watch a documentary about aeroplane crashes. It was time to write my blog. I’ve been listening to Angel radio, and Phillip has continued watching the programme on his Ipad here.